Posts

Red Light

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Those mornings I wake with heaviness in my spirit, are far worse than any heaviness found in my body's affliction. Today, as the bright morning sun filters in through the windows, I sense a sorrow deep within me that must be acknowledged.Although vibrant colors surround me at every angle, I feel only the absence of light.These are the toughest days for anyone in the midst of troubling times; and I take a moment to unite myself with all those suffering. I am not alone as I lift my prayer to God for strength and healing.
Today must be lived with a little darkness – and curse the darkness I do!I am irritable, unbearable, moody and downright pissed off.I yearn for the ability to get up and go, for the independence stolen from me.Over and over lamenting about how hard every task is to complete and how tired I am.Save me from myself!
Today, a Red Traffic Light will be my saving grace.
As I head down Jericho Turnpike, driving locally to run an errand, I approach a Red Light.Waiting with lit…

Adirondack Moments

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This is a story for day dreamers...  (Thanks Frank & Kim for the inspiration)
There they were, perfectly positioned along the walkway, welcoming guests into the house.  Each chair casts a bright pop of color on the muted white & gray tones of  "The Scozzari Family" beach cottage. The bold pigments offset the tranquil ocean hues all around. Ken looked intently at the colorful Adirondack chairs, storing the design and color into his subconscious memory.  
“Chris, we are going to get ourselves a few of these chairs to brighten up our backyard.”In all our years together – this was the first time Ken expressed any desire to own a piece of furniture. Just like that, the mission began. For it became Ken’s quest to hunt and gather colorful Adirondack chairs.He searched with the promise of adding a new one every year.
The first sighting came on a country road in Pennsylvania with a sign “Amish Made” proudly printed on the outside of the store.Ken walked right in and selected a br…

A Rushing Wind

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Sitting in the backyard on this beautiful summer morning brings about a strong sense of oneness with nature.  Perfect temperature in the low 80’s keeps me from running for the shelter of the cool house.  Extreme fatigue and acute weakness are  my constant companions & makes the notion of getting any housework done an unattainable goal.  But the beauty of my surroundings can not be denied
My Chocolate Lab is lying close beside me and I understand a dog’s contentment doing nothing but relaxing in the moment. I wait for time to pass, without so much as a concern for agendas, accomplishments or pressing matters.In dog terms – waiting for a yummy treat or playful belly rub.The simple pleasure of watching Shade’s life could really teach “this old dog” some new tricks!
It is hard to ignore the gentle breeze moving the tops of the trees lining our property.The dazzling, vibrant colored leaves seem to be dancing to a rhythm only they can hear.As hard as I may try, the direction of their move…

Just "Things"

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I have lost my share of “things”.That disappearing white sock lost in the dead zone of my dryer or the earring that mysteriously dislodged from my lobe.Keys, money and important documents; all misplaced by yours truly. Losing “things” is woven into the fabric of my being.I’m sure my family can retell stories when Mom was guilty of mindlessly throwing something of value in the garbage.There will undoubtedly be the hastag - #whereisit? etched on my tombstone.Every item lost is accompanied by some pain. And every hurt experienced usually offers a valuable life lesson.
Losing my ability to walk and even greater; losing power over my MS progression has been a tough pill to swallow.Such overwhelming loss can change ones attitude about“things”. It is not worth crying over or being angry when “things” are lost and out of our control. Because that is exactly what they are – “things”.It took living with an illness (very much like a death) to teach me this paralyzing reality.“Things” are just “th…

Mercy Drops

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The sky seemed to open - pouring down rain upon this already dreaded Monday morning. Parting the curtains, I look out my bedroom window to see gray overcast clouds all around.
I am instantly reminded of something I read the night before, “We’ve all experienced showers of blessings – mercy drops falling around us”
These words tugged at my heart so I took that moment & jotted down the phrase. ~  Showers of blessings   ~  mercy drops falling  ~ Never could I have imagined the storm that would befall our lives the very next day.
The house phone on the nightstand rings, immediately setting the day into motion. I look at the clock flashing 7:30am and think, “It’s kind of early for anyone to be checking in”.Upon answering and hearing the sadness in Michael’s voice – I am suddenly wide-awake.He did not have to say anything or go into detail because I knew.... Kathi had lost the battle she had been fighting for her life.
I try my best to say something to console his aching heart.I hang up quick…