Lesser of Two Evils

When my son was growing up he delighted in a game I liked to call - The lesser of Two Evils.  “Would you rather be a passenger in an airplane about to crash or in a car driving off a bridge?” Would you rather be shot in the back or with an arrow through the heart?” “Would you rather be held down in the deep end of the pool or stranded in the middle of the ocean with sharks.” He could and would continue for hours!

My daughters would simply disregard his annoying and menacing questions choosing instead to shake their heads and ignore him (the price for not having a brother to share in the fun).  Ken played along, but after a while begged for mercy from his disturbing imagination.  I often found myself taking a few calculated minutes of thought, to pick the lesser of these evils.  Most times I cried out for him to stop, realizing this game was both ridiculous and quite alarming.

Was I raising a monster or an inquisitive child?  Looking back now, this little game would offer a valuable life lesson.  For our lives include choices of free will, journeys of our own making and paths laid out with little or no option.  Questions beginning “would you rather…” could help us through the many cross roads we stumble upon.

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It was a few summers past,  at our annual “family reunion”.   Standing in a circle with our feet in the sand at the shoreline – 3 cousins shared stories of those “struggles” in their lives.  Carol spoke first, “it is a form of leukemia that must be monitored.  So many blood tests and frightening symptoms come with this diagnosis but I am hopeful to remain in remission”.  Cousin Christine spoke next of the terrible day she heard the word cancer. “The doctors gave me little choice. What followed was the fear and uncertainty before and after undergoing a double mastectomy and the months of recover”.  My turn to share and out poured my story of Multiple Sclerosis, “The beginning days were very dark from not knowing and then the definitive MRI image sentencing me to a life with a chronic, debilitating disease”.  We stood together, listening attentively; understanding beyond the words spoken out loud.  There in the middle of this circle was “not two but three evils”.   

We finished sharing and looked out into the water.  Silence allowing us to go deeper into our own thoughts.  And then I asked, “Would you rather have a deadly blood disease or  cancerous cells growing in your breast or an illness attacking your immune system?"  This was no longer a game.  But in that moment, we laughed and came to understand that if we had to choose – we would keep our ‘evil” for it seemed the lesser.

There is a wonderful quote that comes to mind when I think back on what I learned within that circle….

If you lined up all the troubles in the world and threw them into the ocean –
you would go back in to get your own.


* a special thanks to my cousins for being part of this story