I am
all but willing to hibernate in the gloom of these winter months, but deep
within I yearn for brightness. I savor the brilliance bestowed on the
earth by the sun’s rays. The thought alone of sunshine catapults me from my
dreary disposition.
I peer
out the window and observe the tender blanketing of snow forming.
Such beauty in the falling white flakes, beckoning me to join in its
movement.
But, I
remain.
Images
are projected onto the large computer screen. Grey and white fuzzy shapes
are brought into focus. Before my eyes materializes the inner workings of
my spine and brain.
Hundreds
of magnetic resolution images capture damaged parts deep within. She
points to three large areas casting a shadow and mumbles, Here is the part of the myelin sheath or nerve fiber which is damaged,
nerve impulses traveling to and from the brain and spinal cord are distorted or
interrupted, producing a wide variety of symptoms. The damaged
myelin forms scar tissue (sclerosis), which gives the disease its name.
I am
well aware of the shadows name, which has been lurking inside of me for 8
years. But now, for the first time I am looking directly at those grey
areas, which cause my every weakness.
I stare
in disbelief as she comments on the size, Yes, they are quite large but
at least there are only three. At least gives me
little comfort.
She
changes from scan to scan causing the illusion of graceful movements running
across the computer screen. The healthy parts of me beckoning the damaged
areas of my spine to join in the dancing.
Unable to look away, I am crushed and silenced by the weight of the grey shadow before me.
But, I remain.
I remain... with you in prayer to weather the grey and remind you of the sunshine.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kara
You are my sunshine!
Delete"You" remain. You are right - those grey areas aren't you - the "you" loved by Jesus, the "you" loved by all of us.
ReplyDeleteYes, "You" remain - and our love remains with you.
Thank you for this beautiful comment!
Delete