Thursday, August 15, 2019

Objects Appear Larger Than They Are




It’s usually the roar of the engine that gets my heart racing and STOPS me from what I’m doing.  Looking up with radar like precision, I track the huge commercial aircraft flying very low overhead.  The sheer size of these planes takes my breath away as they come into view above the trees lining our property.  My family often laughs at me (not appreciating or feeling the same exhilaration) as I freeze midsentence – to begin searching the clear blue skies.  Ken finds it irritating and often yells, “squirrel” depicting how my attention is diverted in an upward direction for those few moments of flight.   

“What is the deal with these low flying planes?” has become normal conversation with friends in the neighborhood.  We are miles from an airport large enough to accommodate Boeing commercial jets.  But for reasons unknown to me air traffic patterns have changed, directing these monsters to begin descent over the area surrounding the ½ acre I call home.

This summer has allowed me hours of mindless entertainment watching the skies populated by massively large, low flying airplanes.  I’m in awe of how fast they travel, often joking about “seeing the color of the pilots’ eyes”!  But like so many other objects that come into view – they often appear larger (and closer) than they really are.
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Anniversaries are customarily acknowledged in some sort of way.  On this given day in July – as my legs dangle off the examination table at my neurologist office – I have much to celebrate (if you can call it that).   10 years ago, I held Kens’ hand as tears fell from my eyes hearing the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.  10 years ago, I knew nothing about the stages of loss & acceptance to be endured with the progression of this illness.  And I certainly knew nothing about the faith I would need to call upon.   I just remember those early years navigating new pathways and patterns for my life.   My diagnosis became unavoidably the biggest interruption – very much the “squirrel” in my life.

But I am witness to the healing power of “living by design”. It has been a slow climb bringing me here today, legs dangling in the waiting room.  Ken wanted to be with me for support, but I am feeling strong and confident.  The giant MS beast – not long ago filling me with fear – comes into view smaller than it once appeared.  Although it is undeniably still present, its looming shadow does not conceal all the sunlight.  My doctor visit is over quickly and I receive the thumbs up that all is well.  (Not the usual anniversary gift…. but I’ll take it)

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I rush home to sit in the yard & enjoy the passing of those large jets.  But there is a noticeable change again in the air traffic patterns.  I do not know why but the skies are silent and void of any activity.  Just like that new patterns and pathways are being made.   I’ll miss my pulse racing and the excitement of seeing those large objects – or maybe they really weren’t that large after all.




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