Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Oops, I did it again

If I were being completely honest, the cruel nature of my forgetfulness should cause me to cry. But, in this moment I cannot stop laughing even though I should be apologizing. A foolish grin lifts my otherwise flat facial features, and my funny bone has been tickled. I regard my absent-mindedness as hysterical!

The sun peaks through our half-shut blinds and I roll onto my side, thinking of all the tasks to be done during the day. I venture to complete one so ordinary it does not deserve to be placed on a “to do” List. This particular high-energy morning has me moving a plastic container filled with winter sweaters from storage. But, when you have MS completing any chore merits some accomplishment.  For the able body – it ranks as comparable to brushing and then flossing your teeth.  OK - for some people, flossing daily may be considered high ranking!  Anyway you get the gist of what I’m alluding to about a routine task. I puff up my chest and consider the action as a monumental achievement since I have needed the warmth of these sweaters for weeks.

I did say I moved the container, but I may have neglected to mention the finer points of my story.  A detail like how tired I became carrying it the few short steps of our hallway.  Well let me just say, I struggled, and in the end put it down in the doorway of my bedroom.  Any plans to organize the contents of the container would have to wait.  I back out of the bedroom sounding like Arnold Schwarzenegger, “I’ll be back”. 

But the day is lost to my returning upstairs.  I have no energy for the job of sorting through the sweaters and have totally forgotten the placement of the container (another MS symptom referred to as brain fog).  Out of sight, out of mind.  That is until Ken arrives home in the evening. 

After the customary kiss hello, I ask Ken about his day.  Sorting the mail he mumbles something about vodka or wine after the craziness of his workday.  He looks tired but asks about my day.  Did I get anything new accomplished?  Was my energy up to any tasks?  I think a moment but recall nothing and answer my usual – no, not much of anything got done today.

Kicking off his shoes he begins to climb the stairs to change out of his work clothes.  There is a basket of laundry at the foot of the steps waiting for him to bring upstairs.  How many times must I trip over the things you leave on the floor or in doorways?  I swear one of these days you are going to kill me!  

The house is quiet for a few seconds, but in that silence I remember - Oh Yes!!  The container!! Isn’t it wonderful!  I moved it this morning….  I did accomplish something after all.  The day was not a complete waste.  And with that thought I hear Ken yelling as he falls forward clutching the laundry basket. NOT AGAIN CHRIS!!  What the hell is this container doing in the doorway!! You almost killed me!   

I wince until I find out he is all right. And once again find myself laughing and apologizing at the same moment.   Oops, I did it again….



(Dedicated to Ken - for helping me see the humor in life)

Friday, November 18, 2016

Thanksgiving Prayer





God of Holiness,
You bestow on us the gift of life
which is ever changing 
with the passing of time.

May we delight in the current season of our lives
Accepting challenges as they come,
Praising moments of joy that unfold,
Beholding the splendor of your beauty,
Proclaiming the glory of your promises.

 Let our love become a harvest of blessings
Allowing us to be Givers – unasked,
Pouring forth goodness into the world.

During this season of Thanksgiving
Prepare us to receive with open arms
All you have planned for us, now
&
In the coming seasons of our lives.

~ Amen ~


         
        

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Out on a Limb


The call is strong and powerful. It summons me to move from a place of comfort to that which is most unfamiliar. In a faint whisper I hear, “Take a step in faith and move further out on the limb”.    I am caught between the awakened & unconscious state of existence.  The appearance of a large tree with mighty hands as limbs is before me.  In the presence of this giant force of creation, I am made to feel united and loved.   Each branch is strong and thrives with fruit & leaves.  Without hesitation I climb to the first limb which seems to be calling my name.    As I sit in the arms of the tree I say out loud, “it is good that I am here! I am happy and content in my current situation. This is far enough for me”.   But still I am gently encouraged to journey just a little further down the branch. Why the nudge and the persistent call? Could the view be any more splendid or the fruit any sweeter or the leaves any more spectacular just a few inches away?   What am I to gain by taking this step forward?   My heart's desire to answer yes, is stronger than any of my fears.   And so I make the adjustment going further “out on a limb".    In my lifetime I will never fully know the purpose or reason for this call.   But what I do know and can plainly testify to, is that faith and faith alone - will keep the limb from breaking.

Shish Kebob

I am not a person who easily gives away a moments sleep.   I need (truly need) 8 hours a night without interruption.   But that devilish ...